Danny Loong did not fully grieve his father’s death until he became a parent himself. For two decades after his father’s passing, Loong remembered him mostly as a provider and disciplinarian: a man who pushed hard, cared quietly and offered little by way of tenderness. “He would ask me, ‘How come you’re not this, or that? How come you’re not studying hard enough?’ So when he passed away, I missed him, but I somehow couldn’t really grieve for him,” said Loong, 54.